I am happy being single. Read that sentence again. There is often a stereotype and assumption that people, especially women, who are single are automatically unhappy. So as we approach Valentines Day, here’s your friendly reminder that not all single people are sad.
Singlehood is nice. For me, it’s been a literal privilege to have had this time alone. I have found my authentic self. Some people can do that while having a partner, but I have needed, and enjoyed, my time being just mine. It doesn’t mean I don’t look forward to finding a special someone again, (I do) but I am quite happy being solo too, and have been for quite some time. I’m proud to be alone.
Paired-up people have certain things easier in our society. Therefore things are harder when you’re single. And people put more pressure on women for being single than they do on men. But doing it all on your own, whether you’re a guy or a gal, is badass. You overcome additional obstacles than paired-up people do, and you’re stronger for it. I would argue, it helps you develop you’re stronger sense of self.
There’s nothing wrong with being in a pair-that’s a beautiful thing too. And of course paired-ups have problems too. I’m just saying it’s good to acknowledge that being single is awesome.
Some people are so SCARED to be alone. That’s partly why people have a negative stigma or stereotype of singlehood-because they assume they would be so sad and unhappy if THEY were in a single persons shoes. (Those of you reading this not believing that someone can be happy while single most likely fall into that category.) I understand. But also, don’t freak out. Being single means you don’t have to constantly acquiesce to someone else’s needs. You can take care of yourself! Singlehood connects you to who you are, as you are, by yourself. There is so much power and beauty in that.
I say-Enjoy being single. You might never have the chance again and it is a privilege to be able to find yourself, by yourself.
Today, I just want to say, hi! Thanks for reading. I started this blog back in 2013 because I realized my Facebook statuses were getting a bit long…(yes, I’m a millennial, if you haven’t figured that out) and I thought, “I should take my thoughts to a more articulated platform.” But mainly, this blog has been a wonderful way to shout into the void and express myself: To feel like I’m making a ripple in the pool of existence with my one voice. I have so much love for this world and our potential as temporary people on this planet.
I’ve got about 100 followers and that’s all I’ve needed over the years: I’ve never been in it to go viral necessarily, just to have something to say, and a place to say it.
I’m also proud of what this blog has accomplished. 26,000 views. Yahoo 🤘 My top blog, The Rum Running Queen, has enjoyed the number 1 spot when you search the subject on Google since I wrote it in 2015. So 7 years holding that number 1 spot. People and companies spend big money and advertisement to get a spot like that and my little blog did it on accident, without paying any money. That’s pretty cool.
But what it comes down to is the joy of writing, the catharsis of expressing one’s opinions and having a place to say, “Here are my thoughts, let’s rock, see whatcha think.”
So thank you to my wonderful 100 followers, of whom only 6 of you I really know. And the other 94, I’d love to get to know ya! Here’s to all of you and these past 9 years-Almost a decade of musings, ventings, intellectual pursuits, ponderings, and shouting, nay, singing, into the void.
Cheers to many more years of singing, (and maybe punk-rock yelling) into the void and to all of you current and future followers.
I’m rewatching the docuseries, WW2 in Color on Netflix, and it’s amazing to see, time and time again in history, the tragedy of patriarchy unfolding to such a degree. In my studies with my degree in history and work as a history teacher in the past, (and of course my avid attention to documentaries) I see it over and over. Think about it: it’s always men leaders leading these pissing contests and unchecked anger to push other men (and sometimes women too) to fight to the agonizing and devastating death. It’s the hidden truth right under our nose. And the additional not so secret truth is that men lose out on this battle too: duh. Patriarchy is harmful to men too.
And PLEASE do not misunderstand me. This is not to say that “men are the enemy” quite the opposite. it is to state that men (and women) can do better and deserve better.
I find it important to state the obvious fact, because it is often overlooked, that it is one gendered pattern of people doing these acts. Why? And how can we fix it? I think we are doomed to repeat mistakes if we don’t point out the obvious that here is this general pattern: and so what can we do to ensure that men leaders do not unleash their anger and power on others and each other in these types of ways?
We often get so used to the adage “people are violent.” Well, no, generally speaking, men are violent. (And again, not all men are violent. But certainly don’t say “people are violent” because it isn’t women waging war, or terrorist acts, or being mass shooters or murdering etc. It doesn’t mean women are better, it just means women are not the ones who are waging wars and pushing other women to slaughter each other over their emotions.)
What if we did things differently and balanced out the power between the genders? I don’t think we need the pendulum to swing completely in the other direction of all female power: it should be balanced, something we really haven’t seen much of at all in history. (And of course taking into account as well that gender is a spectrum and not in fact a binary.) What if we, in practice and in our actions and diplomacy, raised up the qualities that are supposedly feminine? Like empathy, patience, listening and understanding? Nurturing our people and environment etc etc.? Oh but then that would be too “sissy.” Much cooler to let the world burn. And much more “practical” to continue to do the same thing over and over-Of waging war and sending men to battle… after all, if we engaged in real practical and empathetic diplomacy, as the one unified human race we actually are, we wouldn’t have entertaining movies and documentaries about wars. Boo hoo.
Call me crazy but there is a better world awaiting us. And we can do it if we break old habits. I don’t have all the answers, I wish I did. But I do believe that creating a world with more balance is a start: less domination of one gender, or of one people, over another and more balance. Empowering women to have more practical, peaceful power. People in general are not all violent: People in general, men, women, children etc., are intelligent and capable of a better world than blowing each other to smithereens.