Now that I’m back in the States, what’s next? That is the ultimate question, one I have been exploring. For the past several weeks I have been MIA from my blog because I’ve been absorbing the surreal experience of being back in the States and looking at my life in a different light, sometimes feeling guilty for what I have that others don’t throughout the world. The other night I was playing beer pong and laughing along with everyone at a party, but I was absent in mind, lost in thought. My friend Cooper must have caught onto this because he said good-naturedly, “Julia must be tripping out right now. What does it all mean?” Haha and indeed I was. What does it all mean?
I spoke at a fundraiser dinner about my experience in Rwanda and I’ve been working on editing my book as well as working on a new one, playing guitar and partying with friends like I did before I left for Africa: So things are surreal and strangely similar to when I left but the internal growth and understanding that has grown is awesome to experience: My world perspective has been shaped: My perspective is ready to go to work as teaching tools now and into the future.
Today, I walked out my door, sat in my car and drove ten minutes to a beautiful hiking trail. (That right there is incredible in so many ways.) As I walked along the trail taking in the beauty of the stretching Ponderosa Pines with their vanilla smell permeating the air and the rushing river’s sound reaching my ears, the sunlight obscured a shape in front of me: A deer stood hardly two feet from me beside the path staring up at me. It nodded it’s head gracefully several times not sure whether to move closer or back away. I like to think it was a magical moment, this deer pausing to stare up at me. But in all honestly the deer was probably paralyzed by fear. So for whatever comes next I plan on moving onward and not being a deer paralyzed by fear; a deer caught in the headlights: I plan on moving forward towards endeavors in one way or another. Can’t wait to find out what my next adventure will be: Will it be another big adventure or a small one? We shall see.