Torn Between Worlds

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I’m torn between worlds. I now have two true loves: Missoula Montana and Kigali/Gashora Rwanda. It is hard being in love with two different places. The countdown for returning to the states is 2 nights. One arm is being pulled back into America where I live in the mountains and walk out my door to hiking trails and a comfortable life and friends. The other arm is pulling me to Rwanda where adventure waits around every corner and bright African students anxiously absorb their education. One arm offers a comfortable lifestyle, relaxed and at ease. The other offers challenges needing to be overcome, but an enveloping, ever-present sense of purpose. I don’t know how I’m going to feel when I get back to the States. I honestly didn’t think it would happen but I really am a very different person now than when I left. I have molded like clay; obtained insight and wisdom. But I also feel as though I have aged several years and the weight of the human experience has made my load heavier. With each step I take getting closer and closer to the states I feel my heart ache for both places at the same time. But what I should really be looking at is, “wow, look at what I have accomplished.” So instead of gazing starry eyed or fearful-eyed into the future I’m just going to say, “Wow. This has been an amazing 5 months.”

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One thought on “Torn Between Worlds

  1. Julia, it has been an honor to follow your journey these past five months through your excellent writing. I am sure it will be apnea adjustment to be back in the states as you will, no doubt, see it all with the eyes of this experience. My 52 year old wisdom says give yourself a little time to adjust, then look again at the worlds and you will certainly see what to do. Whatever it is, you will bring yourself to it, the way you brought yourself to Africa…with openness.

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